Bon Iver live at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee on 10/11/09

There aren't words enough. Just listen for yourself and know.

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Open Letter to Hipster Against the Closing of The Uptown Bar

Dear Hipster Against the Closing of The Uptown Bar,

Really?

I mean, can you really even remember a good night there? Emphasis on remember.

Sure, it's fun to pound your all-American can of PBR (pinkies up) and lose your hearing. Just because those bands are so obscure that even you, as a hipster, have to pretend you've heard of them until you can sneak away to the side-stage onesie stall to Wiki the band on your iPhone.

But anyway. Besides all that, the Uptown Bar is effing sweet.

Why would anyone ever want to replace the Uptown Bar with a trendy outdoor gear store?

The Uptown Bar is legendary. Some people who later became famous musicians played there.

Can you name some?

More than that, it's an historical part of Uptown and Minneapolis as a whole.

Do you know what year it was established?

There will only be one live music venue left in Uptown, and OH MY GOD it's a former tapas bar.

What are you going to do?

There's nothing that can be done now, Hipster. The bar management is attempting to transfer their liquor license to another location after The Uptown Bar closes.

But you know it won't be the same.

How are you going to go on without this place?

There, there. Dry your eyes on the sleeve of my North Face jacket, and while you're there, take a wiff. That's the stench of free enterprise. It's the stench of consumerism. It's the stench of Uptown in 2009.

Can't believe you didn't see this one coming. Take off your Ray Bans, Hipster. This is your ward.

Can the dramatic Tweets about how you're in mourning and about how much you enjoyed getting bombed there. It's not like you're going to stop drinking because there's no more Uptown Bar. But you might drink more because of it.

Get over it, already.

You really didn't treat The Uptown Bar that well while it was alive, now did you? That's right. I saw you sneaking your Urban Outfitters flask into the onesie stall.

Shame on you.

Mostly sincerely,
Culture Vulture